Interesting and Weird Records

Female Guinness Book Of Records

Some astounding records, but do you know anyone who could do better......?

Car Parking

The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs.Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate,Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers andwings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and twolamp posts.

Film Confusion

The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husbandwithout asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28thOctober 1990, when Mrs. Margret Brunswick sat down with her husband towatch'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2 mins 40secs before asking "Is he a goodie or a baddie, then, him in the glasses?",Revealing a staggering level of ignorance this broke her own recordset in 1982 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of 'Beverly Hills Cop'before asking "Where is this in england?".

Incorrect Driving

The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km(313miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead (GB) by Dr. Julie Thorn at the wheel ofher Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning twomiles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smokebillowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for thelongest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicatorflashing.

Jumble Sale Massacre

The greatest number of old ladies to perish whilst fighting at a jumble saleis 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on February12th 1991. When the doors opened at 10.00am, the initial scramble to get incost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the first table. Aseven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p whichescalated into a full scale melee resulting in another 18lives being lost. A pitched battle over a headscarf then ensued and quicklyspread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old women. The jumble sale raised£5.28 for local boy scouts.

Talking about Nothing

Mrs. Mary Caterham (GB) and Mrs. Marjorie Steele (GB) sat in a kitchen inBlackburn, Lancs. and talked about nothing whatsoever for four and a halfmonths from 1st May to 14th August 1978, pausing only for coffee,cakes and toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information wasexchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoorrecord for talking about nothing is held by Mrs. Vera Etherington (GB) andher neighbour Mrs. Dolly Booth (GB) of Ipswich, who between 11th November1983 and 12th January 1984 chuntered on over their fence in an unelighteningdialogue lasting almost 62 days until Mrs.Booth remembered she'd left thebath running.

Gossiping

On February 18th 1992, Joyce Blatherwick, a close friend of Agnes Banburypopped round for a cup of tea and a chat, during the course of which shetold Mrs. Banbury, in the strictest confidence, that she was having anaffair with the butcher. After Mrs. Blatherwick left at 2.10pm, Mrs. Banburyimmediately began to tell everyone, swearing them all to secrecy. By 2.30pm,she had told 128 people of the news. By 2.50pm it hadrisen to 372 and by 4.00pm that afternoon, 2774 knew of the affair,including the local Amateur dramatic society, several knitting circles,acoachload of American tourists which she flagged down and the butchers wife.When a tired Mrs. Banbury went to bed at 11.55pm that nightMrs.Blatherwick's affair was common knowledge to a staggering 75,338 people,enough to fill Wembley Stadium.

Group Toilet Visit

The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneouslyis held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Longbenton. Attheir annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne onOctober 12th 1994, Mrs. Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and wasimmediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass,the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone tofinish, emerged 2 hrs 37 mins later.

Single Breath Sentence

An Oxfordshire woman today became the first ever to break the thirty minutebarrier for talking without drawing breath. Mrs.Mavis Sommers, 48, ofCowley, smashed the previous record of 23 minutes when she excitedlyreported an argument she'd had in the grocers to her neighbour. She rantedon for a staggering 32 minutes and 12 seconds without pausing for air,before going blue and collapsing in a heap on the ground. She was taken toRadcliffe Infirmary in a wheelbarrow but was released later after check-ups.At the peak of her mammoth motormouth marathon, she achieved an unbelievable680 words per minute, repeating the main points of the storyan amazing 114 times whilst her neighbour, Mrs. Dolly Knowles, nodded andtutted. The last third of the sentence was delivered in a barely audiblecroak, the last two minutes being mouthed only, accompanied byvigorous gesticulations and indignant spasms.

Shop Dithering

The longest time spent dithering in a shop was 12 days between 21st Augustand 2nd September 1995 by Mrs. Sandra Wilks (GB) in the Birmingham branch ofDorothy Perkins. Entering the shop on a Saturday morning, Mrs.Wilks could not choose between two near identical dresses which were both inthe sale. After one hour, her husband, sitting on a chair by the changingroom with his head in his hands, told her to buy both. Mrs. Wilkseventually bought one.